Last Sunday I ran a half marathon. Well, ran some of a half marathon and walked the rest. It was a record high temp that day and easily near 100 degrees on the pavement. It was miserable!! I finished swearing I would never ever do another half marathon. I hadn’t trained in that kind of heat, there weren’t near enough water stations along the way, I nearly passed out several times from the heat (I get overheated easily) and it was a long long way to go alone!
However, as the days have passed since I finished, I’ve begun to reconsider… I think maybe I will do another half, just not in the summer. My running season is officially September through May. No more of this ridiculous June heat! It’s weird, but after running the half marathon I actually felt worse about myself for a while. My race time was terrible- not for me, but in general. As far as my goals went, I beat one of them and missed the other by 2 minutes! I should feel pretty proud of that given the weather on race day. But when I was there, I wasn’t running against just me, I was running with hundreds of incredible athletes and it made it very clear that this is not my world. I finished feeling embarrassed and almost ashamed… which made me swear it off.
No one wants to feel like they don’t belong, but I realized that no one put that expectation on me, but me! I could have stayed home in bed that morning, but I didn’t. I could have walked the entire thing, but I didn’t. I could have quit when I nearly passed out, but I didn’t. I. Finished. The. Race. That is something to be proud of!
So, what did I learn from running a half marathon? In life, sometimes you have to choose joy! I’m choosing not to be disappointed. I’m choosing to feel accomplished. And I’m choosing not to give up, but to plan on doing this again. Plus, next time I’ll have a time to beat!
Father God, thank You for showing up at my race. Thank You that You care about even the little things in my life. Thank You for giving me strength when I felt like giving up, shade when the heat was too intense and peace when my doubts overwhelmed me. Thank You, Lord, for not giving up on me. In Jesus name, Amen.