Week 1, Day 5 (-2 pounds)
Heart: I tend to care too much about what other people think. I’ll probably mention that again, but for today I’m going to specifically focus on how I do that in relation to my eldest son. He is the sweetest thing you’ll ever meet! Every single time he gets a treat (candy from the bus driver, a cookie after service, a couple of fruit snacks just because) he splits it in half and shares some with his brother. Seriously, every. Single. Time. He also has a tendency to just walk up randomly and say, “Know what, I love you.” But he has a hard time focusing. Sometimes he gets so lost in his own thoughts he forgets about the world around him. This is a problem in classes (school, taekwondo, swim lessons, Sunday school, etc.). Part of it’s because he’s 6, and part of it is just who he is. Unfortunately, sometimes I worry so much about how he comes across to others, that I forget to just love my little boy for being himself. I can get caught in the trap of looking at him through the eyes of other adults, who can find him frustrating at times, and not through the eyes of his Creator, who delights in him. I’m struggling with how to balance the need to teach him how to be present where he’s at (not get lost in his thoughts) so he can focus, with the need to let him be himself. And currently, I’m not doing a great job. I don’t want to squash the tendencies that make him uniquely him. I want to help him embrace them, but learn to focus them. He is such a joy to be around: he’s sweet, he’s funny, he’s incredibly creative, and he loves to laugh! I would love prayer in this area.
Soul: This morning during my 5 minutes I struggled to get my mind focused. I generally have a really hard time shutting down my brain. During these 5 minute meetings with Jesus my goal isn’t to bring Him prayer requests, it’s not even to bring Him praises. During these 5 minutes with Him, my desire is to listen… just to listen to what He wants to reveal to me. That’s tough to do if you can’t get your mind to shut up and take a break! But once I finally did this morning, it felt like having coffee with a friend. What He revealed to me is that He loves me. That’s it. I kept waiting for something more profound, something I could get up and go do. But, He just kept reminding me that He loves me. And I got this overwhelming sensation that He’s pleased with just being with me, that it brings Him great joy to just spend time together. It brought me to tears. I mean, how unbelievable is it that the God of the universe wants to spend the morning having coffee with me?! This is the relationship with Jesus that I’ve been missing!
Strength: So, I’ve lost two pounds, total. I don’t really know how, though. I still haven’t really made any great changes. Maybe I’ve subconsciously been making better choices just knowing that I’m going to get up, weigh myself, and write this blog. I currently have an enemy in this endeavor, however. This enemy went away for a while, which was helpful. But, just returned full force to throw off my game. My enemy’s name is Rainbow Chip Frosting. I thought our on-again off-again relationship was officially over when they stopped making it, but alas it’s back. Have you ever tried graham crackers with rainbow chip frosting? Don’t! It’ll ruin you! In a moment of weakness, I bought a tub of it, which is sitting in my fridge calling out to me at all times of the day and night. I’ve been trying to limit myself, but I anticipate things should go much more smoothly when it’s gone! I wonder if that’s a good enough excuse to just eat it all… 😉