Week 14, Day 2
Heart: I’m going to brag on my husband a little bit today! Banayner and I went a cheered him on at a half marathon last weekend. He did a full marathon a couple of months ago, but since he’s got a Spartan race coming up this weekend, he decided to keep it simple (ha!). He beat his goal by 6 minutes and got 3rd in his age group- he’s amazing! I’m so proud of him! But the coolest part of the day was getting to hang out with Banayner and see him so proud of his Daddy! We made a sign and every time someone commented on it, he said, “My Dad is gonna win the race today. He’s like Flash!” He was beaming talking about how great his Daddy is and it made this Momma’s heart so happy! In fact, a couple of times I got emotional watching him talk about his Daddy. He was mind-blown by that! “Mom, why would being happy make you cry?! That’s so silly!” I love the kid- he’s so rational! Just like his Dad!
Soul: A few weeks ago I mentioned the book my journey group is reading, ‘A Glorious Dark’ by AJ Swoboda. Even though I haven’t finished it, I highly recommend it! We recently started the section on Saturday and it has been so eye-opening for me! I had never really considered Saturday. We have special services for Good Friday and Easter Sunday, but Saturday just kind of gets lost in the weekend. The book caused me to consider Saturday from the perspective of the disciples. We look at the weekend through the lens of Sunday and we know that if we can just push through the weekend, we’ll get to Sunday. We’ll get to the joy and salvation that comes with resurrection. But the disciples didn’t have that reassurance. Their Savior had just died. The man they’d dropped everything to follow was buried and they spent an entire day probably asking themselves, “What just happened”? I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been through Saturday experiences… you know, when you’re going through something horrible and you know that God is in control, but you don’t know what’s going to happen. Miscarriages, infertility, death, these moments when we’re at a loss. We don’t know God’s plan; we don’t know what just happened or why. Can you imagine what the disciples were feeling? Even those who have great faith and know that God is in control can struggle with the feeling of What the heck just happened, God?! I guess it gives me peace knowing that those moments are normal. More than normal, it seems they are an essential part of how God works, otherwise Jesus would have risen immediately after dying, right? There must be something important about those terrifying moments of waiting, wondering, and crying out to God.
Strength: I was talking with a friend last night about waking up and actually wanting to exercise (what?!) because it helps my back. She started laughing and said that she’s started eating better because she’s noticed eating certain foods causes her joint pain. Why would it take literally being in pain to get me to exercise? Why isn’t being healthy for the sake of being healthy enough? It’s like I need a reasonable justification for exercise to be worth doing. And apparently, for me, being healthy isn’t reasonable enough… As silly as it is, I’m thankful for the back pain. It’s bringing some things to light that I needed to realize and deal with. I really think a big part of it boils down to self-worth. Unfortunately, I’m not quite ready to deal with that one yet. I said I’d be honest here, so there you have it… I’m not quite ready to dig in and deal with the real problem yet. I’m scared. I don’t know why, but I am. So for now I’m going to focus on continuing to exercise in the morning.