Week 27, Day 2
Heart: Banayner headed off to school this morning and I was in awe of how much he’s grown up in the past few months. At the beginning of the school year, I was blogging about how much of a struggle we were having with him. But as I think about last week, I can’t believe how far he’s come. The kid was so helpful and made such good choices at school last week that he clipped up every single day. He didn’t even have just an even keel kind of day, he had at least one clip up every day. What a rockstar! I’ve also noticed that when he does make a poor choice the first thing he does is brainstorm a consequence to help himself remember to make better choices in the future. Sometimes we use his consequences and oftentimes we give grace, but I love that he wants to be part of the process of changing his behavior!
As I look and think back on the past couple of months, I think the biggest change came from giving him ownership over his choices. We have replaced, “I’m so proud of you!” with “You should feel so proud of yourself!” When he has a great day, I ask “Do you feel proud?! You should!” We’ve been letting him experience the pride of making good choices, instead of hoarding it for ourselves. But, even in disappointment, we’ve been giving him ownership. When he has a rough day and I notice he seems upset, I’ll tell him, “I think what you’re feeling is disappointed in yourself.” In fact, lately he’s even begun to say, “Mom, I feel disappointed in my choices.” And then he’ll start thinking about appropriate consequences that might help change it. I am floored by how much that one little change has impacted his behavior. It took next to nothing on my part to switch from ‘I’m proud’ and ‘I’m disappointed’ to ‘You should feel proud’ or ‘You seem disappointed’. Talk about reaping major rewards for very little cost. We’ll call this one a parenting win!
Soul: I was reminded this morning of how much my problems lessen as I focus on Christ. From the perspective of my life, stressful situations can seem overwhelming, scary, even impossible. But, next to the Creator of the universe they seem small and light. As I focus my attention on Him and allow Him to shoulder the burden, it seems that the stress over situations diminishes in His greatness. Specifically, in regards to selling our rental house, He reminded me this morning that it’s His house anyway. He provided for and allowed us to buy it, and we committed to serving Him with the house, so I can allow Him to carry the burden of selling it. We’ve taken the steps we need to take and from here, I can trust that He will bring someone to buy it or that He’ll guide our perspective a different direction if He so chooses. It’s not necessarily easy, but He is good and He continues to remind me of that when fear settles in and I forget that He’s got this.
Strength: As my husband prepares to begin his Ironman training, I’m eager about the healthy changes we can all make as a family! He’s wanting to increase his protein consumption, which is something that’s been on my mind for a while! How much more natural and smooth will that transition be if we’re both on the same page?! Likewise, with all of the running and cycling he’ll be doing, we can get out there, too. Not that the kids and I have a chance in, well… at all, of keeping up with him. But, as he heads out on a bike ride, it seems like a natural and relatively easy time for the kids and I to head to the park with bikes and the stroller! Or, when he takes off on a run, we can put on our sneakers and go for a walk around the neighborhood! We may not be training for Ironman, but we can certainly capitalize on the fact that he is! We can use it as motivation to get outside and get moving! Now, if it would just warm up.