Week 27, Day 5
Heart: I was drawing a blank on what to write about this morning. In fact, it took me long enough that Bubby woke up and joined me. He’s currently sitting on my lap as I type (yes, you should be impressed). I asked him what I should write about and he said, “Um, cereal. Because I like cereal.” Haha, it immediately put a smile on my face and made my morning! It’s a great reminder that, although I like to get up early and have some time to myself before the kids wake up, I absolutely adore my children! Especially, snuggle time with them! So, I’m going to keep this short and sweet so that he and I can have some one-on-one time before the other kiddos wake up! I’ll simply say, “Mushlellow (marshmallow) cereal is the best, because it’s so nummy and has sugar in it.”
Soul: Yesterday I found myself struggling with trusting that God will provide. Deep down, I know that He will, He always has. But yesterday, fear took hold. I felt like I was stuck in ‘what if’ land. What if the house doesn’t sell? What if we can’t pay off the car this year? What if I have to go back to work? What if, what if, what if… How much of my energy has been wasted on ‘what if’?! The worst part about ‘what if’ is that it’s pointless. It doesn’t accomplish anything, it doesn’t hold any weight, it’s just fear… Those days come, the days when fear is strong and faith seems weak. Those are the days that we have to choose what we know to be true over how we feel. Feelings are fleeting, but we can rest in the truth. Yesterday I had to choose the truth, even when I didn’t exactly feel like it.
Strength: I read an article a few weeks ago, about new habits. It warned about weeks three and four. About three weeks in to a new routine, you’ll be feeling pretty good and then all of a sudden, your old routine will rear its head. Doubt will settle in about whether this new habit is really what you want. Your motivation will begin to wane and, similar to what I wrote about faith, you’ll have to choose to continue because you want to build the habit, not because you feel like it. Fortunately, it won’t last forever, just a couple of weeks. And, if you can make it through, your habit will be that much more so! I woke up this morning and I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to work out. I wanted to crawl back into my warm bed, snuggle up, and catch another hour of sleep before the kids got up! But, I remembered that article and I was able to face the feeling head-on, primarily to tell it ‘Too bad, I knew you were coming and I’m still going to get up and work out! Screw you, laziness!’ It was a small victory (sometimes you have to take the small ones!) and certainly not the war. That feeling will be back again, probably tomorrow, and I’ll have to fight it all over again, but it was much easier to face, knowing it was coming.